That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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