Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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