Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
