no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
