I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
