I just made out with a guy for $7.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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