You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
