I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
