did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
