Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
