i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My underwear smells like fireworks.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
