We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
