Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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