you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
