And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
one might say we're banned from that church
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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