New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
