You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
