Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
