It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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