love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
