Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
