In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's never too late to be topless.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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