Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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