Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
