i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sext me about skeletons
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
