i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
