my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
