Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
