Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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