He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
