Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I need to align my fucking chakras
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
