no. you can't hotbox the world.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You pole danced in your parka.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
