is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
