hotel room ftw
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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