Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
