Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
