one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
