so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Actions speak louder than pants.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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