He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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