i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
