I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
