D3 body, D1 cock
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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