so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
