He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
