hotel room ftw
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
