i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
