Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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