I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
