he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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