So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
