so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
